Okay, that doesn't sound all that great, but it's true. Right now I am going through ANOTHER war against bad behavior, temper tantrums, disobedience, foul language, inappropriate slang... not to mention the blatant disrespect and the over-developed attitudes of my children who are 7½, 6, and 4½. They are picking up some horrible habits and behaviors at daycare, but I'm not wealthy enough to be able to afford to send them to a daycare that isn't an inner-city low income daycare. The staff does care about the children, yet there are so many times I find my kids coming home feeling as though they're picked on for being "pale", hearing my child called a "cracker" by another child's parents is also annoying. When I've mentioned this to the staff it has always been addressed, but the parents will walk by and say "how do you like it?" Like what? When have I EVER, in my entire life, treated someone differently because of how they look? Look at my dating history if you want to see how important looks are to me, I have a thing for geeks, glasses, balding, usually computer related geeks... and typically they look the part also. Then take it a step farther and look at the fact that the men I've dated have included a black man, an Indian man, Chinese... you get the idea... race and appearance do not make the man, woman, or child the person that God wants them to be, so why on earth do people want to make such an issue out of it? What's worse is that these same people are going to complain when they start hearing someone calling their children an unsavory name even though they are calling mine "cracker"!
All this because these attitudes, behaviors, etc... are seeping into my home as a result of the way people around my children act. I now have to try to find a new daycare, one I can afford, where my children will be treated fairly and hopefully learn something too. My kids are already looking forward to the start of the school year because they want to get away from the way they're being treated by other students. My oldest won the "Christian Character" award last year, in 2 short months she's transformed into a little monster! My other two are following her lead.
Pray for me. Pray for them. I don't know how long I can keep up our strict discipline routine that I put into effect tonight, but I know without it they're not going to get out of these bad habits. Thank you for reading this, I'm frustrated, obviously.
Hugs & Love
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4 comments:
Rachel,
I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Sometimes as Christians we try to see the big picture and bring healing words to those that have been hurt...obviously this woman has dealt with racism on a personal level. But when it comes to our kids..it's hard to not feel like "don't mess with my babies". Have you sat down with the kids to talk heart to heart about all of this? I find that when these situations come up asking questions of my kids that will help them understand our famliy values helps a lot. It's interactive so they don't feel lectured. I ask them to put themselves in other people's shoes and tell me how that feels. I ask them if they were other people involved in this situation what would they have done? Sometimes I even learn a thing or two about where my children's hearts are. Sometimes I'm frightened by it, but more often I'm proud and feel that I must be doing something right.
If nothing else, this will develop empathy in your children for those that are persecuted for no reason.
As for finding another daycare...God will make a way.
Hi Jo,
Yeah I've had heart to heart chats with my kids about this, numerous times. It's not just one parent, it's about half of them. My kids are the only white kids in an otherwise all black daycare. The teachers aren't an issue, but the parents and the messages they send their own children are. They have gone so far as to rsvp for parties for the girls and no one shows up. Talk about cruel!
The school my kids go to is such a mix that there isn't a primary race to choose from, and I like it that way because I don't have to worry that they'll pick up any of these negative traits if they don't have a choice but to be friends with people of all skin tones... and ya know what? It is LITERALLY skin deep! I had a roommate in college who's little sister wanted to shave, and she shaved the top layer of skin off (OUCH) she said to her sister, "hey, I look like your roommate under my skin!" my response was that we're all the same inside, it's just a different color on the outside, to which my roommate got upset, told me I was poisoning her sister's mind, and moved out of the room... What is wrong with people?
I'm sorry, it doesn't matter who is prejudiced for what stupid reason... it just isn't right and doesn't make any sense to me!!!
Sorry for the rant, I needed it. Now I need to do damage control, the kids are behaving poorly as a result of daycare also... joy.
Hug & Love
Racism is a vicious cycle. Make sure it isn't one your kids perpetuate.
There isn't much to say about the other parents. It is my experience as a white person that there is more open racist behavior coming from blacks than anyone else. But I'm not a black person, so maybe that blinds me to the behavior of white people.
What I do know is that I am called to be patient in the face of sin. So regardless of who is behaving in a racist way, I have to act in love when I can.
Rachel, if it had been my kids, and the parents disrespecting my children had said something stupid like "How do YOU feel now!?" I would have seriously taken them to task.
You don't want to deal with racism? Then don't perpetuate it in my children. I don't want my kids to grow up racist. YOU insulting them and hurting them is going to make them hate YOU, and I as a parent have to fight that now. How is it that I can keep my kids from hating people of other races when other races treat them so badly?
But they wouldn't hear that at all. And I would probably be branded for being a racist just for arguing with them about their own racism, that's the hilarious thing.
Go find a nother day care for your kids. They don't need that crap. If your day care was populated by the KKK, would you have your kids in there? Of course not. Black racists are no better. They're just more politically acceptable, for some reason.
Yeah David, I know, it's annoying, double standards really get to me! I actually heard one person say, "it's not racism, it's our way of defending ourselves against you being racist!" What kind of warped logic is that?
Anyway, I do plan to find somewhere else to put them, but it's too late for this summer. They'll all be in Concord Christian again for the fall, so that should be a good thing. Just hope Donny doesn't get kicked out again this year!
Hugs & Love
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