How to Behave: Part VIII
Romans 14:1-4
Accept the person who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of arguing over differences of opinion. 2. One person believes that he can eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3. The person who eats must not despise the person who does not eat, and the person who does not eat must not criticize the person who eats, for God has accepted him. 4. Who are you to criticize someone else's servant? His own Lord will determine whether he stands or falls. And stand he will, because God is able to make him stand.”
Differences of opinion among believers… who would have imagined it was possible? Yet here Paul is writing about division among believers 2000 years ago, and it’s as applicable today as it was then. In the past month or so, I’ve had debates, some heated, some friendly, with people I don’t doubt are my brothers and sisters in Christ about the issue of dating. Some feel it is frivolous of me to want to date, that I should find the “right” person and jump into that relationship and no other while others think that restricting me to only dating one person at a time isn’t really getting the full effect of dating. Strangely enough, of the views I’ve heard, I’m middle of the road in what I thought was a very conservative outlook on dating… the point is that everyone I spoke with about this has been a Christian, someone who professes to know God. No, dating isn’t an issue of salvation and is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things… but it’s an example of this passage in modern context. How timely God is to put this passage on the day that I return to reading His word and writing about it… I had probably one of the most heated responses to someone’s much more liberal viewpoint on dating than mine about 2 hours ago and when I’m done here will probably seek that person out to make sure that we are on good ground and that I wasn’t offensive with my tone.
Our differences in opinion, our differences in personality, they give us character, they challenge us to grow. We aren’t to look down on anyone because they have a different opinion than ours, nor are we to think ourselves better if they are different; we are to lovingly accept that person, their thoughts, etc… If it is something that can be clearly corrected through the Bible, such as sexual promiscuity or murder, then yes, we need to hold fast and show the person what is right and correct them. But when it comes to the small stuff, if you eat meat or not, if you date or not, if you believe in courtship, if you think women should always wear dresses and heels, whatever it might be, as long as it doesn’t create strife between believers or obviously oppose the Bible there is no problem with holding those beliefs.
I think the real challenge here is how we react to those who hold beliefs different than our own. In a heated debate over a topic are you still being loving or are you being pompous and arrogant? It is possible to do both, you can have a spirited conversation with someone and have diametrically opposed standings and still love each other when it’s done (I do that often with a friend who regularly posts on here for me…) or do you allow the passion you feel for a topic to leave another person feeling belittled, angry, defensive… if it’s the latter, we’re not grasping the point of these verses. God is the judge of what we do. He alone will give us the strength we need to stand. Our job as brothers and sisters in Christ is to support each other in love, encourage each other… debate when necessary of course, but not for the sake of fighting, but for the sake of understanding and loving each other better. As a way of growth and a way to learn about each other, other viewpoints, and possibly even come to a compromise that will benefit everyone involved.
I want to leave you with a quote that is in my Bible on this topic because it is so powerful and true. “Our principle should be: In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in everything, love.” I hope you will be loving towards others if you disagree with them. I hope I will be also!
Hugs & Love
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2 comments:
Interesting.
Again, we come to the issue of holding people accountable. What one person considers a minor, unessential thing from the Bible another sees as critical. The commandments are important, and should be held.
As far as I'm concerned, dating is necessary in this society. Your parents aren't going to hook you up with some guy, you have to do the work of finding that person yourself.
Arranged marriages make me wonder if there really is such a thing as "the one" or if in some way, all people (or, at least Christians) are capable of being married. If you think about it, as long as both are living out their faith in truth and love, it is probably possible...anyways, times are different. Arranged marriages don't work, largely because women are no longer obligated to obey their husbands, which probably had a lot to do with the "peace" in those ouseholds.
Pardon me, I'm just randomly musing. The issue of dating is an interesting one.
Actually, I do believe that as long as two people are committed to each other, being honest with each other, and living as Christians that they can certainly love each other and make a marriage work. Too many people don't realize that friendship is the real basis of a good marriage, not physical attraction or chemistry or "spark" they feel when they see someone. Those things are nice, but they really aren't needed. Without the friendship and communication there really is nothing there after a while because the spark inevitably burns out.
Hugs & Love
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