Sorry for the delays in posting, most of you were following along with my health status outside of my blog, so I didn't bother posting updates here. I'm finally doing MUCH better!
During my not so willing hiatus from work, I did manage to get out a few resumes and find a new job... and it's the one I wanted! I actually had 2 offers, the first one came, and it didn't "feel" right, they were pushing for an answer, I didn't feel sure of it, and there was as much stress about the possibility of taking that position as there was at the one I had left, ultimately, the company withdrew the offer. About a week later I was called in for an interview for the job I now have which is making about 8k more a year than I was at KCI and 5K more than I would have at the other job offered. I'm still doing plan review work, but I'm in the field now also, I'm going to be sent for training next month so I can do official construction inspections if the need arises rather than just tagging along with a co-worker (although getting stuck in the mud is more "fun" when someone is there to pull you out!) and I'm already given more respect on this job than I had in 2 years at KCI. They are helping me learn because it will help me do my job more effectively and in turn help lessen the burdens of co-workers. From day one they started taking me to meetings and introducing me to local engineers and getting me into the public eye as the new engineer. It is wonderful! The stress is limited to the normal work related stressors rather than personal ones, and the hours and benefits are phenomenal.
That said, when I went back to KCI to clean out my cubical, within 2 minutes of talking with my old boss she had my stress level so high I was ready to scream out "this is why I quit!" What's worse, someone took my calculator and they were treating ME like I was some type of criminal... can you believe it?
Anyway, I've been in meetings with former co-workers for KCI already and they went relatively well, considering that they never made eye contact with me.
I just wanted to let you all know that I am alive, what I've been up to, and that I am about 90% better health wise. I still have flare ups, I still have 3 children to care for, and I still love Jesus... so everything will be fine. I'm back into my Bible study group, oh how I missed those ladies! I am so happy to once again be learning about God with them and discussing Him with them, I missed it so much while preparing for Christmas!
I'm hoping to get back into a good pattern here where I can start blogging my Bible journey as well as anything else I feel relevant. I want to figure out how to long for heaven while at the same time living an abundant life... any thoughts?
Hugs & Love to all, I've missed you!
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Monday, October 22, 2007
Bible Blog: Daniel 3 – October 22, 2007
Daniel 3 – “The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace”
If I gathered everyone I knew to see the “great big shiny thing” I made and told everyone to sing worship songs to the “great big shiny thing” I’m sure at least a few would force me to have my head examined, a few more would slam me in the head with a spiritual baseball bat, and many would laugh at me… good for them! But I know of three people who would blindly do as I told them to because mommy knows what is right. It may seem like an overly simplistic way of looking at this situation, but it is accurate. King N was educated, knowledgeable in things the common man didn’t know he was missing… much like a parent-child relationship.
It’s easy to see the “trust in the Lord” message from this passage… less obvious is that we need to try to learn how to lead those around us away from the tempting “great big shiny things” of life and towards the arms of our loving Savior. I don’t want to encourage my children to sing praise to anything evil, I want them to sing praises to Jesus… they won’t do that unless they see me doing it.
I need to make sure I haven’t been leading them to any “great big shiny things” lately. I pray I never will!
Hugs & Love
Daniel 3
1. King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. 3 So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.
4 Then the herald loudly proclaimed, "This is what you are commanded to do, O peoples, nations and men of every language: 5 As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. 6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace."
7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.
8 At this time some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews. 9 They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "O king, live forever! 10 You have issued a decree, O king, that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, 11 and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. 12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up."
13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?"
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king's command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.
24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?" They replied, "Certainly, O king."
25 He said, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods."
26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!" So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.
28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way."
30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.
If I gathered everyone I knew to see the “great big shiny thing” I made and told everyone to sing worship songs to the “great big shiny thing” I’m sure at least a few would force me to have my head examined, a few more would slam me in the head with a spiritual baseball bat, and many would laugh at me… good for them! But I know of three people who would blindly do as I told them to because mommy knows what is right. It may seem like an overly simplistic way of looking at this situation, but it is accurate. King N was educated, knowledgeable in things the common man didn’t know he was missing… much like a parent-child relationship.
It’s easy to see the “trust in the Lord” message from this passage… less obvious is that we need to try to learn how to lead those around us away from the tempting “great big shiny things” of life and towards the arms of our loving Savior. I don’t want to encourage my children to sing praise to anything evil, I want them to sing praises to Jesus… they won’t do that unless they see me doing it.
I need to make sure I haven’t been leading them to any “great big shiny things” lately. I pray I never will!
Hugs & Love
Daniel 3
1. King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. 3 So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.
4 Then the herald loudly proclaimed, "This is what you are commanded to do, O peoples, nations and men of every language: 5 As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. 6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace."
7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.
8 At this time some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews. 9 They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "O king, live forever! 10 You have issued a decree, O king, that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, 11 and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. 12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up."
13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?"
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king's command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.
24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?" They replied, "Certainly, O king."
25 He said, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods."
26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!" So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.
28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way."
30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Just a Tuesday afternoon...
What do you get when you put two friends, both female, in a room when one is awaiting a diagnosis that could possibly be cancer?
A. Somber discussion about medical treatments.
B. Prayer session begging God that this isn't going to be cancer.
C. Bible page flipping looking up passages of hope.
D. All the above.
If you answered D, you'd be partially correct... but mostly wrong. Here are some more options to choose from:
E. Abundant laughter.
F. An awesome chuckle inspiring card.
G. Commentary on God's sense of humor.
H. All the above.
H is correct, but still doesn't tell the whole story.
My friend Nancy came over to offer me some support this afternoon because she knows I'm seeing the hematologist tomorrow and she has been through the testing and waiting process in the past and knows how stressful it can be. She showed up with an awesome card, imagine the silly glasses and funny nose attached in card form, I plan to wear this to my doctor appointment tomorrow or at least to dinner if my friends are still taking me. Things became progressively sillier as the afternoon went on.
What I really want to share with you is what had us in stitches and I'm convinced that God was laughing right along with us. Both Nancy and I needed to use the bathroom, fortunately I have two so we parted company. I flushed the toilet, no problem, went to turn on the water and nothing came out. I respond with, "Oh crap, this isn't happening, not now!" to which Nancy comes running thinking her using the water in another room was causing me a problem... soap covering her hands and a concerned look on her face and I realize that she didn't know yet. They had just shut off the water to the building while we were using the toilets. Sure enough we checked every sink, no water to be found anywhere. By now our giggles are filling the whole building as we try to figure out how to get our hands clean. We manage to dry off the soap and find the waterless sanitizer and continue having a good laugh and a discussion about how God made a man pee his pants in the Bible... yeah I'm planning to look that up and it will most likely be a Bible Blog entry.
We decided it was a great time to take pictures, and silly us, we put more soap on our now sanitized hands, held the card in front of our faces (we took turns) and snapped the pictures. We then proceeded to the sink to rinse off the soap... we had forgotten something very important, no water... duh! So another round of giggling and silliness and of course hand cleaning without water (have I mentioned diaper wipes are wonderful things recently?) We then prayed, holding sticky hands, laughing hysterically for God to bring healing and to keep the laughter abundant. And we both felt God's presence, we knew He was laughing right along with us, that He was enjoying that moment with us, the complete silliness and you know what? He loved that we included Him in it! He wants everything from us, not just good, not just bad, He even wants our silly outbursts... isn't that wonderful?
Well, after a round of try to figure out what is wrong with the cell phone (hers, not mine) and finally giving up, she went out the door. I had turned the water faucet in the kitchen on so I would hear when the water started again. Around the time she got to her car, the water started up again. I called her and told her and we continued laughing. God really does have a sense of humor, and this confirms it. He wants us to laugh.
So laugh with me people! If I can get the pictures onto my computer, and get permission from Nancy, I'll post them, otherwise, use your imagination, it's probably just as good.
Hugs & Love
A. Somber discussion about medical treatments.
B. Prayer session begging God that this isn't going to be cancer.
C. Bible page flipping looking up passages of hope.
D. All the above.
If you answered D, you'd be partially correct... but mostly wrong. Here are some more options to choose from:
E. Abundant laughter.
F. An awesome chuckle inspiring card.
G. Commentary on God's sense of humor.
H. All the above.
H is correct, but still doesn't tell the whole story.
My friend Nancy came over to offer me some support this afternoon because she knows I'm seeing the hematologist tomorrow and she has been through the testing and waiting process in the past and knows how stressful it can be. She showed up with an awesome card, imagine the silly glasses and funny nose attached in card form, I plan to wear this to my doctor appointment tomorrow or at least to dinner if my friends are still taking me. Things became progressively sillier as the afternoon went on.
What I really want to share with you is what had us in stitches and I'm convinced that God was laughing right along with us. Both Nancy and I needed to use the bathroom, fortunately I have two so we parted company. I flushed the toilet, no problem, went to turn on the water and nothing came out. I respond with, "Oh crap, this isn't happening, not now!" to which Nancy comes running thinking her using the water in another room was causing me a problem... soap covering her hands and a concerned look on her face and I realize that she didn't know yet. They had just shut off the water to the building while we were using the toilets. Sure enough we checked every sink, no water to be found anywhere. By now our giggles are filling the whole building as we try to figure out how to get our hands clean. We manage to dry off the soap and find the waterless sanitizer and continue having a good laugh and a discussion about how God made a man pee his pants in the Bible... yeah I'm planning to look that up and it will most likely be a Bible Blog entry.
We decided it was a great time to take pictures, and silly us, we put more soap on our now sanitized hands, held the card in front of our faces (we took turns) and snapped the pictures. We then proceeded to the sink to rinse off the soap... we had forgotten something very important, no water... duh! So another round of giggling and silliness and of course hand cleaning without water (have I mentioned diaper wipes are wonderful things recently?) We then prayed, holding sticky hands, laughing hysterically for God to bring healing and to keep the laughter abundant. And we both felt God's presence, we knew He was laughing right along with us, that He was enjoying that moment with us, the complete silliness and you know what? He loved that we included Him in it! He wants everything from us, not just good, not just bad, He even wants our silly outbursts... isn't that wonderful?
Well, after a round of try to figure out what is wrong with the cell phone (hers, not mine) and finally giving up, she went out the door. I had turned the water faucet in the kitchen on so I would hear when the water started again. Around the time she got to her car, the water started up again. I called her and told her and we continued laughing. God really does have a sense of humor, and this confirms it. He wants us to laugh.
So laugh with me people! If I can get the pictures onto my computer, and get permission from Nancy, I'll post them, otherwise, use your imagination, it's probably just as good.
Hugs & Love
Monday, October 8, 2007
Bible Blog: Obadiah – October 8, 2007
Why did I choose to read Obadiah? I don’t remember ever reading it before, although I know I must have at some point in time since I read the entire Bible in HS. I didn’t know anything about it, so I read it. Since the whole book is only 21 verses long, I’m including all of it at the end of my ramblings so you can read it. I’m using the Message version this time because the language is more modern and lets you “feel” what is being said a bit easier.
I like that writing styles in Bible times included the author’s name and a brief subject right up front makes it easy to know that Obadiah was a prophet foretelling the destruction of Edom… but again, my Bible history isn’t what is should be, so I have to find out, WHY Edom is going to be destroyed.
In verses 2-4 it seems almost as though Obadiah is taunting the people of Edom, but the reality is he’s pointing out that they’re going to be destroyed for their pride and feelings of superiority. Obadiah is telling them that God is going to take them from being in a lofty, well protected city and reduce them to nothing. In verses 10-14 we find out that it’s because they were violent towards Judah, they allowed foreigners to attack Judah and cast lots for Jerusalem, they rejoiced in the destruction of their family… Judah was filled with the descendants of Jacob and Edom the descendants of Esau, they pillaged during times of distress, they wouldn’t allow refugees to leave, and turned over survivors to the enemy.
It seems to me a good warning for today as well. We are called to love those around us, to help those in trouble, but if we rejoice in their sorrow and pain we are no better than the Edomites who turned over their relatives to the enemy. But as with any warning against evil, it seems God sends along hope as well because He tells of the restoration of Israel in verses 17-21. We are certainly going to face evil in this life; we are going to face it from friends and family, co-workers, strangers, and people with different beliefs. He will punish all sin, but because Jesus died for us, our sins will be overlooked and we will be restored to Him as heirs and heiresses. Isn’t that wonderful to think about?
Hugs & Love
Obadiah
1
Obadiah's Message to Edom from God, the Master.
We got the news straight from God by a special messenger sent out to the godless nations:
"On your feet, prepare for battle; get ready to make war on Edom!
2-4
"Listen to this, Edom:
I'm turning you to a no-account, the runt of the godless nations, despised.
You thought you were so great, perched high among the rocks, king of the mountain,
Thinking to yourself, 'Nobody can get to me! Nobody can touch me!
'Think again. Even if, like an eagle, you hang out on a high cliff-face,
Even if you build your nest in the stars, I'll bring you down to earth."
God's sure Word.
5-14
"If thieves crept up on you, they'd rob you blind—isn't that so?
If they mugged you on the streets at night, they'd pick you clean—isn't that so?
Oh, they'll take Esau apart, piece by piece, empty his purse and pockets.
All your old partners will drive you to the edge.
Your old friends will lie to your face.
Your old drinking buddies will stab you in the back.
Your world will collapse. You won't know what hit you.
So don't be surprised"
—it's God's sure Word!—
"when I wipe out all sages from Edom and rid the Esau mountains of its famous wise men.
Your great heroes will desert you, Teman. There'll be nobody left in Esau's mountains.
Because of the murderous history compiled against your brother Jacob,
You will be looked down on by everyone. You'll lose your place in history.
On that day you stood there and didn't do anything.
Strangers took your brother's army into exile.
Godless foreigners invaded and pillaged Jerusalem.
You stood there and watched.
You were as bad as they were.
You shouldn't have gloated over your brother when he was down-and-out.
You shouldn't have laughed and joked at Judah's sons when they were facedown in the mud.
You shouldn't have talked so big when everything was so bad.
You shouldn't have taken advantage of my people when their lives had fallen apart.
You of all people should not have been amused by their troubles, their wrecked nation.
You shouldn't have taken the shirt off their back when they were knocked flat, defenseless.
And you shouldn't have stood waiting at the outskirts and cut off refugees,
And traitorously turned in helpless survivors who had lost everything.
15-18
"God's Judgment Day is near for all the godless nations.
As you have done, it will be done to you.
What you did will boomerang back and hit your own head.
Just as you partied on my holy mountain, all the godless nations will drink God's wrath.
They'll drink and drink and drink—they'll drink themselves to death.
But not so on Mount Zion—there's respite there! a safe and holy place!
The family of Jacob will take back their possessions from those who took them from them.
That's when the family of Jacob will catch fire, the family of Joseph become fierce flame, while the family of Esau will be straw.
Esau will go up in flames, nothing left of Esau but a pile of ashes."
God said it, and it is so.
19-21
People from the south will take over the Esau mountains; people from the foothills will overrun the Philistines.
They'll take the farms of Ephraim and Samaria, and Benjamin will take Gilead.
Earlier, Israelite exiles will come back and take Canaanite land to the north at Zarephath.
Jerusalem exiles from the far northwest in Sepharad will come back and take the cities in the south.
The remnant of the saved in Mount Zion will go into the mountains of Esau
And rule justly and fairly, a rule that honors God's kingdom.
I like that writing styles in Bible times included the author’s name and a brief subject right up front makes it easy to know that Obadiah was a prophet foretelling the destruction of Edom… but again, my Bible history isn’t what is should be, so I have to find out, WHY Edom is going to be destroyed.
In verses 2-4 it seems almost as though Obadiah is taunting the people of Edom, but the reality is he’s pointing out that they’re going to be destroyed for their pride and feelings of superiority. Obadiah is telling them that God is going to take them from being in a lofty, well protected city and reduce them to nothing. In verses 10-14 we find out that it’s because they were violent towards Judah, they allowed foreigners to attack Judah and cast lots for Jerusalem, they rejoiced in the destruction of their family… Judah was filled with the descendants of Jacob and Edom the descendants of Esau, they pillaged during times of distress, they wouldn’t allow refugees to leave, and turned over survivors to the enemy.
It seems to me a good warning for today as well. We are called to love those around us, to help those in trouble, but if we rejoice in their sorrow and pain we are no better than the Edomites who turned over their relatives to the enemy. But as with any warning against evil, it seems God sends along hope as well because He tells of the restoration of Israel in verses 17-21. We are certainly going to face evil in this life; we are going to face it from friends and family, co-workers, strangers, and people with different beliefs. He will punish all sin, but because Jesus died for us, our sins will be overlooked and we will be restored to Him as heirs and heiresses. Isn’t that wonderful to think about?
Hugs & Love
Obadiah
1
Obadiah's Message to Edom from God, the Master.
We got the news straight from God by a special messenger sent out to the godless nations:
"On your feet, prepare for battle; get ready to make war on Edom!
2-4
"Listen to this, Edom:
I'm turning you to a no-account, the runt of the godless nations, despised.
You thought you were so great, perched high among the rocks, king of the mountain,
Thinking to yourself, 'Nobody can get to me! Nobody can touch me!
'Think again. Even if, like an eagle, you hang out on a high cliff-face,
Even if you build your nest in the stars, I'll bring you down to earth."
God's sure Word.
5-14
"If thieves crept up on you, they'd rob you blind—isn't that so?
If they mugged you on the streets at night, they'd pick you clean—isn't that so?
Oh, they'll take Esau apart, piece by piece, empty his purse and pockets.
All your old partners will drive you to the edge.
Your old friends will lie to your face.
Your old drinking buddies will stab you in the back.
Your world will collapse. You won't know what hit you.
So don't be surprised"
—it's God's sure Word!—
"when I wipe out all sages from Edom and rid the Esau mountains of its famous wise men.
Your great heroes will desert you, Teman. There'll be nobody left in Esau's mountains.
Because of the murderous history compiled against your brother Jacob,
You will be looked down on by everyone. You'll lose your place in history.
On that day you stood there and didn't do anything.
Strangers took your brother's army into exile.
Godless foreigners invaded and pillaged Jerusalem.
You stood there and watched.
You were as bad as they were.
You shouldn't have gloated over your brother when he was down-and-out.
You shouldn't have laughed and joked at Judah's sons when they were facedown in the mud.
You shouldn't have talked so big when everything was so bad.
You shouldn't have taken advantage of my people when their lives had fallen apart.
You of all people should not have been amused by their troubles, their wrecked nation.
You shouldn't have taken the shirt off their back when they were knocked flat, defenseless.
And you shouldn't have stood waiting at the outskirts and cut off refugees,
And traitorously turned in helpless survivors who had lost everything.
15-18
"God's Judgment Day is near for all the godless nations.
As you have done, it will be done to you.
What you did will boomerang back and hit your own head.
Just as you partied on my holy mountain, all the godless nations will drink God's wrath.
They'll drink and drink and drink—they'll drink themselves to death.
But not so on Mount Zion—there's respite there! a safe and holy place!
The family of Jacob will take back their possessions from those who took them from them.
That's when the family of Jacob will catch fire, the family of Joseph become fierce flame, while the family of Esau will be straw.
Esau will go up in flames, nothing left of Esau but a pile of ashes."
God said it, and it is so.
19-21
People from the south will take over the Esau mountains; people from the foothills will overrun the Philistines.
They'll take the farms of Ephraim and Samaria, and Benjamin will take Gilead.
Earlier, Israelite exiles will come back and take Canaanite land to the north at Zarephath.
Jerusalem exiles from the far northwest in Sepharad will come back and take the cities in the south.
The remnant of the saved in Mount Zion will go into the mountains of Esau
And rule justly and fairly, a rule that honors God's kingdom.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Teachers In-Service
I am home with three small children today, not because anyone is sick (other than me) but because the teachers have an in-service day today. School started a month ago, and the children have a day off already? I don't know why but I don't remember nearly as many days off in my school year as a child, snow days when there is a powdering of snow on the ground, in-service days every month, and of course all the holidays that only bankers and government workers get to take off.
At least they are cooperating to some degree here, they've watched the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (for the first time) and Nanny McPhee as well and have been doing kids' level sudoku and word puzzles. They even showered this morning (amazing).
I somehow doubt that I will be able to find the time to have quiet time while they (and I) are awake at the same time (I've been sleeping through the movies, I'm tired of sleeping so much!) and when they are asleep I am pretty sure I'll be asleep also, so please forgive me. So much for my grand plans for having extra quiet time with God during the month of October! Please know I am still reading daily devotionals every day (usually about 4) and that I don't comment on them because they are based on another person's interpretations as well as their readings, not my own.
I will write more soon, perhaps I'll have a friend join me in reading/writing something, that would be fun!
Hugs & Love
At least they are cooperating to some degree here, they've watched the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (for the first time) and Nanny McPhee as well and have been doing kids' level sudoku and word puzzles. They even showered this morning (amazing).
I somehow doubt that I will be able to find the time to have quiet time while they (and I) are awake at the same time (I've been sleeping through the movies, I'm tired of sleeping so much!) and when they are asleep I am pretty sure I'll be asleep also, so please forgive me. So much for my grand plans for having extra quiet time with God during the month of October! Please know I am still reading daily devotionals every day (usually about 4) and that I don't comment on them because they are based on another person's interpretations as well as their readings, not my own.
I will write more soon, perhaps I'll have a friend join me in reading/writing something, that would be fun!
Hugs & Love
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Oh well...
I just woke up, again, about 20 mins ago, and I'm just finishing up getting ready for my next interview... I can't believe I dozed through another whole day without writing anything. It's a bit frustrating that I have all this time but no energy with which to accomplish anything!
I'll try this evening to post something, if I don't fall asleep that is!
Hugs & Love
I'll try this evening to post something, if I don't fall asleep that is!
Hugs & Love
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Towels
I've reached a new low... I found myself sitting here contemplating if I have enough bath towels in my house and remembering my mother saying that a woman could never have too many towels in her home if she has children. I think that is probably one of the most practical tidbits my mother has ever shared with me. I have, at least, 20 bath towels, 10 bath sheet/beach towels, 40 wash clothes, 10 bath pouffs (the things you use with liquid soap), 10 hand towels, and 10 dish towels. I find myself regularly scrambling trying to come up with towels for everyone to use, and find that the hand and kitchen towels are the hardest to keep up with, mostly because everyone thinks these should be pretty and gave me ones with appliqued designs which make the towel impractical to use... but that's another issue.
I decided I need intellectual stimulation on a daily basis because of my pondering the proper towel balance in life... I don't want to spiral into a world where towel quantities are all I have to think about. I need intelligent conversation to keep me happy... and find myself looking forward to reading "Jan hugged the pug." with my daughter just so I have SOMETHING better than a towel tally to occupy my time. I need to get better so I can go back to work!
Hugs & Love
I decided I need intellectual stimulation on a daily basis because of my pondering the proper towel balance in life... I don't want to spiral into a world where towel quantities are all I have to think about. I need intelligent conversation to keep me happy... and find myself looking forward to reading "Jan hugged the pug." with my daughter just so I have SOMETHING better than a towel tally to occupy my time. I need to get better so I can go back to work!
Hugs & Love
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Bible Blog: Romans 15:14-22 - September 11, 2007
How to Behave: Part XIII
Romans 15:14-22
Personally, I've been completely satisfied with who you are and what you are doing. You seem to me to be well-motivated and well-instructed, quite capable of guiding and advising one another. So, my dear friends, don't take my rather bold and blunt language as criticism. It's not criticism. I'm simply underlining how very much I need your help in carrying out this highly focused assignment God gave me, this priestly and gospel work of serving the spiritual needs of the non-Jewish outsiders so they can be presented as an acceptable offering to God, made whole and holy by God's Holy Spirit.
Looking back over what has been accomplished and what I have observed, I must say I am most pleased—in the context of Jesus, I'd even say proud, but only in that context. I have no interest in giving you a chatty account of my adventures, only the wondrously powerful and transformingly present words and deeds of Christ in me that triggered a believing response among the outsiders. In such ways I have trailblazed a preaching of the Message of Jesus all the way from Jerusalem far into northwestern Greece. This has all been pioneer work, bringing the Message only into those places where Jesus was not yet known and worshiped. My text has been, Those who were never told of him— they'll see him! Those who've never heard of him— they'll get the message!
And that's why it has taken me so long to finally get around to coming to you.
Paul knows how to compliment people… if someone told me that they thought I knew what I was doing when it came to any area of my life my confidence would grow. Telling me I’m able to guide someone else would encourage me to go and guide someone. And being told I’m needed in an endeavor straight from God would make me feel incredible! After hearing Paul tell them how to behave towards each other and strangers they were told that these were just reminders of how important it is that they continue in these things because it is helping Paul reach the Gentiles with the message of Christ.
Did you ever stop to think about your role in your community? If you are a teacher you are taking on a role that frees someone else to go reach those who have never heard of Christ. If you are behind the scenes babysitting, doing construction work, vacuuming… you are allowing people to do what they need to do to serve Christ in the way they are called to serve instead of sitting on the sidelines because children were demanding, a floor needed sanding, or there were too many chores to do anything else. It may not seem like much, but whatever it is you do, give it to God and He will use it for His glory.
Hugs & Love
Romans 15:14-22
Personally, I've been completely satisfied with who you are and what you are doing. You seem to me to be well-motivated and well-instructed, quite capable of guiding and advising one another. So, my dear friends, don't take my rather bold and blunt language as criticism. It's not criticism. I'm simply underlining how very much I need your help in carrying out this highly focused assignment God gave me, this priestly and gospel work of serving the spiritual needs of the non-Jewish outsiders so they can be presented as an acceptable offering to God, made whole and holy by God's Holy Spirit.
Looking back over what has been accomplished and what I have observed, I must say I am most pleased—in the context of Jesus, I'd even say proud, but only in that context. I have no interest in giving you a chatty account of my adventures, only the wondrously powerful and transformingly present words and deeds of Christ in me that triggered a believing response among the outsiders. In such ways I have trailblazed a preaching of the Message of Jesus all the way from Jerusalem far into northwestern Greece. This has all been pioneer work, bringing the Message only into those places where Jesus was not yet known and worshiped. My text has been, Those who were never told of him— they'll see him! Those who've never heard of him— they'll get the message!
And that's why it has taken me so long to finally get around to coming to you.
Paul knows how to compliment people… if someone told me that they thought I knew what I was doing when it came to any area of my life my confidence would grow. Telling me I’m able to guide someone else would encourage me to go and guide someone. And being told I’m needed in an endeavor straight from God would make me feel incredible! After hearing Paul tell them how to behave towards each other and strangers they were told that these were just reminders of how important it is that they continue in these things because it is helping Paul reach the Gentiles with the message of Christ.
Did you ever stop to think about your role in your community? If you are a teacher you are taking on a role that frees someone else to go reach those who have never heard of Christ. If you are behind the scenes babysitting, doing construction work, vacuuming… you are allowing people to do what they need to do to serve Christ in the way they are called to serve instead of sitting on the sidelines because children were demanding, a floor needed sanding, or there were too many chores to do anything else. It may not seem like much, but whatever it is you do, give it to God and He will use it for His glory.
Hugs & Love
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Bible Blog: Romans 15:5-6 - August 30, 2007
How to Behave: Part XI
Romans 15:5-6
God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we'll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!
I don’t tend to read The Message version of the Bible alone, nor do I tend to use it when quoting scripture, but today, I really liked how these verses are worded, please feel free to go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ if you want to find a different version to read.
The reason I like this version today is that a relationship with God is put into human terms. He is warm and personal… how often do we forget that God wants us to know Him as well as we know our parents, siblings, spouses, children and friends? But he calls us to himself, reminding us that He wants that same closeness, that same relationship with Him. Just as our relationships with our friends and families gradually mold our personalities, He wants our relationship with Him to mold us so that His character is seen through us. He is dependable, He is always there, and He is personally invested in our lives, even when those around us seem to push us aside for their own agenda, He is right there, 24/7 and He wants us to grow a closer and more personal relationship with Him that will allow us to better be examples of Jesus and able to shine His light through this world.
Paul goes on to say that when we achieve this we will praise Him in one voice… but this version is so beautiful and calls to the musician in me… “Then we’ll be a choir – not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!” When I think about all of God’s children as a choir, I think of a HUGE choral production with so many talented voices that each part is clearly heard and resounding so clearly through the air that no one needs amplification, and I imagine an audience of One, smiling, clapping, and thanking us for the worship filled sounds we are singing to Him… but this says it’s not just our voices, but our very lives that will praise Him. Every word, every action, our interactions with each other, how we show love to each other every day… when we are in fellowship with God, our lives will reflect it, our hearts won’t be able to help passing the love He gives us on to others around us, and we will live harmoniously with those around us, even when it doesn’t seem like it should be possible.
Sounds a bit like a utopia doesn’t it? Yet it is promised to us, right after being told that hope is ours through Christ. Wow, I get to hope for a utopia! Is there any doubt that God loves us if He wants this for each of us?
Hugs & Love
Romans 15:5-6
God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we'll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!
I don’t tend to read The Message version of the Bible alone, nor do I tend to use it when quoting scripture, but today, I really liked how these verses are worded, please feel free to go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ if you want to find a different version to read.
The reason I like this version today is that a relationship with God is put into human terms. He is warm and personal… how often do we forget that God wants us to know Him as well as we know our parents, siblings, spouses, children and friends? But he calls us to himself, reminding us that He wants that same closeness, that same relationship with Him. Just as our relationships with our friends and families gradually mold our personalities, He wants our relationship with Him to mold us so that His character is seen through us. He is dependable, He is always there, and He is personally invested in our lives, even when those around us seem to push us aside for their own agenda, He is right there, 24/7 and He wants us to grow a closer and more personal relationship with Him that will allow us to better be examples of Jesus and able to shine His light through this world.
Paul goes on to say that when we achieve this we will praise Him in one voice… but this version is so beautiful and calls to the musician in me… “Then we’ll be a choir – not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!” When I think about all of God’s children as a choir, I think of a HUGE choral production with so many talented voices that each part is clearly heard and resounding so clearly through the air that no one needs amplification, and I imagine an audience of One, smiling, clapping, and thanking us for the worship filled sounds we are singing to Him… but this says it’s not just our voices, but our very lives that will praise Him. Every word, every action, our interactions with each other, how we show love to each other every day… when we are in fellowship with God, our lives will reflect it, our hearts won’t be able to help passing the love He gives us on to others around us, and we will live harmoniously with those around us, even when it doesn’t seem like it should be possible.
Sounds a bit like a utopia doesn’t it? Yet it is promised to us, right after being told that hope is ours through Christ. Wow, I get to hope for a utopia! Is there any doubt that God loves us if He wants this for each of us?
Hugs & Love
Friday, August 24, 2007
Today
Today I had a new experience. Today, I WROTE an update to the subdivision regulations for one of the towns I work with. Not only did I write the update, it is a completely new section of the regulations, I got to choose where to put it. My boss agreed with my placement. She agreed with the design guidelines I had concluded were the best for this particular component of residential roadway design. Sure, we went through several rounds of rewording, rearranging, etc... but the information was mine, the guidelines that developers in this town are going to be required to follow for the next 20+ years are ones that I wrote. It's a bit intimidating! Think about it, if this design criteria, when put into practice, turns out to be less effective than anticipated or more of a bother than it is worth it ultimately will reflect on me and my engineering capabilities.
I think too much. I'm really quite happy about this. It is a new undertaking I had not yet experienced, and I really enjoyed doing it. I had to do quite a bit of research for it, and I love doing research. I had to work with someone to get the final wording and arrangement figured out, and I like working with someone instead of it being alone. What's better is that because I had done the research for it, I was confident that I knew my designs criteria were appropriate and was able to make recommendations and feel like I was a peer to my boss instead of a peon that serves as an over glorified secretary at times. We actually discussed the merits and drawbacks of certain components, she took my advice on several things, but had experience that lent to some changes on others, and I was grateful for that. It felt so good to feel as though I was competent and that I did a good job on this. Too bad Monday will bring the same old grind back.
Thanks for letting me share my day with you!
Hugs & Love
I think too much. I'm really quite happy about this. It is a new undertaking I had not yet experienced, and I really enjoyed doing it. I had to do quite a bit of research for it, and I love doing research. I had to work with someone to get the final wording and arrangement figured out, and I like working with someone instead of it being alone. What's better is that because I had done the research for it, I was confident that I knew my designs criteria were appropriate and was able to make recommendations and feel like I was a peer to my boss instead of a peon that serves as an over glorified secretary at times. We actually discussed the merits and drawbacks of certain components, she took my advice on several things, but had experience that lent to some changes on others, and I was grateful for that. It felt so good to feel as though I was competent and that I did a good job on this. Too bad Monday will bring the same old grind back.
Thanks for letting me share my day with you!
Hugs & Love
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Copy Cat Post
I'm taking David's question and making it my own... who out there is reading my posts but not replying to them? I'm curious. I know I have David and Joanne, they aren't afraid to tell me anything about how they feel or think... but I don't really hear too much from anyone else. So, if you read this, let me know, I'd love to know you're there and what you think!
Hugs & Love
Hugs & Love
Saturday, July 28, 2007
What a Beautiful Day!
Hi all! Today we had the company picnic in Middle River, MD, and I took a friend from church with me (Mike) to help me with the kids and although it was a long afternoon, we had a blast! The kids ate a lot of food... so did Mike for that matter... I ate more than I expected to, but at least I had the experience of having to beat the food out of the crab shell in order to eat it! It was kinda theraputic to whack the little suckers to break the shells! We had ice cream, hotdogs, hamburgers, brownies, crabs, and of course cold cut sandwiches. There was face painting, tug-of-war, limbo (they didn't let adults play though, only kids... I coulda beat them!), characatures (they ran out of time so I didn't get mine... WAH! I wanted to get one with large shoulder blades... private joke... no need to comment on it), a beach, playground, sand... everything you need to come home with three VERY messy children... so we did exactly that, I put them in the tub and scrubbed, and you'd never know they had so much fun today! The weather was good, the company was good, the kids fairly well behaved, and the traffic did eventually cause us to have a detour to get home faster, but all in all an uneventful drive.
Had such a wonderful time, the weather was great for it, and I wish it could have been with all my loyal readers, fans, and of course friends and family rather than the co-workers, but without that it was still a blast!
Hugs & Love
Had such a wonderful time, the weather was great for it, and I wish it could have been with all my loyal readers, fans, and of course friends and family rather than the co-workers, but without that it was still a blast!
Hugs & Love
How Cool is God?
As you know, I'm reading Romans right now and doing the "How to Behave" series. The last post I made (Thursday... and due to the new meds and side effects, not to mention the thunder storm last night I did not do anything... different discussion) was on Romans 12:3-8, I asked you all to consider using the unlikely, painful aspects of your life as a way to please God... I had an opportunity last night to do exactly that!
Because of the pain I am in (although feeling somewhat better today and actually got sleep last night) I went to drop off my prescription at the pharmacy and then took the children to Pizza Hut for dinner while waiting for them to fill the script. I really can't eat pizza, there is nothing at Pizza Hut I can really safely eat because of my gastric bypass, but for whatever reason, when I was trying to decide where to go for dinner, this place kept bursting into my mind as the place to go, so knowing the kids would love it, that's where we went.
When I went to pay the bill I stood next to a woman whom most would overlook. Nothing was flashy about her, she was minding her own business, had a brave smile on her face... but the smile didn't meet her eyes. I asked her if there was anything I could do to help... she told me her story, which I don't feel comfortable posting for the whole world to see so I won't, but many of the trials she is currently facing I have experienced in my own life. Much of the pain she is feeling, I too felt... and I was able to show her my healthy little girl bouncing around the restaurant after successfully enduring the same situation this family is now facing... and it offered her encouragement.
Our trials may seem like burdens at the time we are going through them, but God has a greater purpose for them. I am hoping to be part of leading this family to Christ's love, I was blessed to give this woman a hug (actually several) and know that I was offering her comfort from God, something she desperately needs at this time.
I don't believe this was a chance meeting, I believe it was orchestrated by God as a way to open up this family to the love He has to offer during a time when they are vulnerable and feel the need for the Comforter more than anything else. And it directly ties in with the passage He had me read and the realizations that how I am living is how He wants me to serve Him. How awesome is it that God would offer me affirmation of the legitimacy of an insight in such a real, tangible way in such a short time frame that I was still in the pondering stages and trying to find a practical application of what I feel He was trying to tell me.
I love the Lord so much! This is so awesome! Hope you agree!
Hugs & Love
PS Where are the responses to my posts? I am seeing more of the "light" responses and playful things, but no comments or feedback on the Bible related postings... I do want to know your thoughts, either as confirmation or opposition... I like to know the thoughts of others, it helps me figure out my own!
Because of the pain I am in (although feeling somewhat better today and actually got sleep last night) I went to drop off my prescription at the pharmacy and then took the children to Pizza Hut for dinner while waiting for them to fill the script. I really can't eat pizza, there is nothing at Pizza Hut I can really safely eat because of my gastric bypass, but for whatever reason, when I was trying to decide where to go for dinner, this place kept bursting into my mind as the place to go, so knowing the kids would love it, that's where we went.
When I went to pay the bill I stood next to a woman whom most would overlook. Nothing was flashy about her, she was minding her own business, had a brave smile on her face... but the smile didn't meet her eyes. I asked her if there was anything I could do to help... she told me her story, which I don't feel comfortable posting for the whole world to see so I won't, but many of the trials she is currently facing I have experienced in my own life. Much of the pain she is feeling, I too felt... and I was able to show her my healthy little girl bouncing around the restaurant after successfully enduring the same situation this family is now facing... and it offered her encouragement.
Our trials may seem like burdens at the time we are going through them, but God has a greater purpose for them. I am hoping to be part of leading this family to Christ's love, I was blessed to give this woman a hug (actually several) and know that I was offering her comfort from God, something she desperately needs at this time.
I don't believe this was a chance meeting, I believe it was orchestrated by God as a way to open up this family to the love He has to offer during a time when they are vulnerable and feel the need for the Comforter more than anything else. And it directly ties in with the passage He had me read and the realizations that how I am living is how He wants me to serve Him. How awesome is it that God would offer me affirmation of the legitimacy of an insight in such a real, tangible way in such a short time frame that I was still in the pondering stages and trying to find a practical application of what I feel He was trying to tell me.
I love the Lord so much! This is so awesome! Hope you agree!
Hugs & Love
PS Where are the responses to my posts? I am seeing more of the "light" responses and playful things, but no comments or feedback on the Bible related postings... I do want to know your thoughts, either as confirmation or opposition... I like to know the thoughts of others, it helps me figure out my own!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Question for the men...
Do you guys have any clue what you're doing sometimes?
Okay, that probably sounds a bit confrontational but I'm being serious here. If you like a girl, tell her you like her, be honest with her about your concerns, talk through things like rational adults, don't simply sit on the sidelines lying about your feelings, thoughts, dreams, hopes, etc... And when you do admit you like someone, realize you have already done the hard part! Admitting the way you feel for a woman must be terrifying, especially if the woman has made no indication to you of how she feels, but any woman worth having will react to you lovingly, no matter what her feelings are... I know I would, and I'd rather know up front what someone's thoughts and concerns are rather than sitting around not knowing or worse, knowing there is an interest but that it's not being acted on because of fear that hasn't been admitted or an insecurity that can be dealt with through conversation or soul searching.
No, not every relationship or attraction will turn into a forever thing, but guys, seriously here, grow up and admit things when you feel them, women are no better at mindreading than men are unless the man is being painfully obvious... and even then there are some things that are not understood (underlying motives more than anything).
No, this isn't directed at any one person, it's not directed at any particular incident or anything else... it's just I'm noticing that guys that I consider to be in my "potential" category are typically geeky, shy, insecure males aged 32-42 who don't want to admit things... you can do it guys... really, you can!
Hugs & Love
Okay, that probably sounds a bit confrontational but I'm being serious here. If you like a girl, tell her you like her, be honest with her about your concerns, talk through things like rational adults, don't simply sit on the sidelines lying about your feelings, thoughts, dreams, hopes, etc... And when you do admit you like someone, realize you have already done the hard part! Admitting the way you feel for a woman must be terrifying, especially if the woman has made no indication to you of how she feels, but any woman worth having will react to you lovingly, no matter what her feelings are... I know I would, and I'd rather know up front what someone's thoughts and concerns are rather than sitting around not knowing or worse, knowing there is an interest but that it's not being acted on because of fear that hasn't been admitted or an insecurity that can be dealt with through conversation or soul searching.
No, not every relationship or attraction will turn into a forever thing, but guys, seriously here, grow up and admit things when you feel them, women are no better at mindreading than men are unless the man is being painfully obvious... and even then there are some things that are not understood (underlying motives more than anything).
No, this isn't directed at any one person, it's not directed at any particular incident or anything else... it's just I'm noticing that guys that I consider to be in my "potential" category are typically geeky, shy, insecure males aged 32-42 who don't want to admit things... you can do it guys... really, you can!
Hugs & Love
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